Gardener's wife: I didn't know that trimmin' trees and shit counted as landscaping.
Gardener: I just do what I'm told. I just do what I'm told.
Gardener's wife: Not all the time.
Gardener: Not when it comes to yer fuckin' bitchin'!
Suburbs
Overheard by a neighbor
Female diner to other female diner: Lasagna had to translate for three hours!
Little Tree Sushi Bar, Royal Oak
Overheard by Pedestrian
Thin angry teen: You need to find out where she is so you can fight her.
Thick angry teen: Oh, I know where she is ... I KNOW where she is! She's at the Ren Center!
(to guy next to her:) Yo, what stop is this?
Guy: Broadway.
Thick angry teen: I'm gonna call her. Wait, is this her?
(into cellphone:) Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
train stops at Broadway, starts up, announcement of next stop is made
Thick angry teen (to guy): Yo, what stop is next?
Guy: Um, Grand Circus?
Thick angry teen (into phone): Hello? Hello? Hello?
train stops at Grand Circus
Thick angry teen (into phone): Hello?! Hello?! Hello?!
guy walks off train, angry teens continue to RenCen
Detroit People Mover
Overheard by Cz
Patton Oswalt: Where do you live?
Blond bag of bones: Dearborn!
Patton Oswalt: Where's that?
Blond bag of bones: Downriver!
Audience: No it's not!!!
Patton Oswalt: Apparently Dearborn's not downriver?
Blond bag of bones: I've lived here my whole life. I think I'd know.
City Theatre, Detroit
Overheard by DNN
Holey Shirt Guy from the 9th floor (to girl stranger): We're watching the game! We can see it from the apartment!
Girl: Oh... cool.
Friend of Holey Shirt Guy from the 9th floor: And I made some delicious treats!
Holey Shirt Guy from the 9th floor: I'm glad to see you haven't lost your touch!
Kales Building elevator
Overheard by Cz
Three alterna-dorks in the elevator ... stops to let two girls on.
Skinny alterna-dork (after long silence): So, what's Rob Lowe been up to?
Alterna-dork in blue: Well ... he's making some made for TV movies.
Bearded alterna-dork: Yeah, he left West Wing because he wasn't making enough money.
Doors open on the first floor and they get out. Girls collapse laughing.
Kales Building
Overheard by Cz
Date: Shouldn't we wait to cross?
Dork trying to impress Date: There's no jaaaay walking in Michigan! You can't get a ticket for jaaaaaay walking in Michigan! This ain't Chicaaaaaaah-GO!
Passerby: You're going to get a ticket for jaywalking.
Dork trying to impress Date: Charge it to the game ... charge it to the game...
9 Mile and Woodward
Overheard by judgemental dick
Worker 1: Is today the 9th?
Worker 2: I don't know, but there's a calendar right next to you.
Worker 1: Yeah, I know, but I don't know the date.
Used bookstore
Overheard by Frank Stain
Coworker who didn't think anyone was listening: I'd love to have liposuction. I mean, not have it, just the effects ... I'd like to do something -- I have nothing else to do.
At work at a certain world-spanning corporation
Overheard by Perhaps Read A Book?
Zach Galifianakis: You ain't got not pancake mix!
St. Andrew's Hall
Overheard by Virgil Cane
surly male customer: what do we have here?
girl at the counter: it's our margherita pizza
surly male customer: i hope there's no tequila in it! i haven't had a drop of hard liquor in four years. it killed too many of my buddies. they're six feet under, and i'm six feet above.
girl at the counter: ...
Trader Joe's, Woodward, Royal Oak
Overheard by Frugal Shopper
